


if longing is madness, then none of us are sane

by atsuhai



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Piercings, Pining, Roommates, they share an apartment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27906100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atsuhai/pseuds/atsuhai
Summary: Maybe the disaster started in high school, when Suna met the Miya twins. Or maybe it was when he befriended them, which led to him considering Osamu to be his best friend. No, it was certainly when he, despite how much he tried to deny it, developed a crush on the aforementioned best friend; that’s where it all started.
Relationships: Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 131





	if longing is madness, then none of us are sane

**Author's Note:**

> title is a quote from crier's war by nina varela

Maybe the disaster started in high school, when Suna met the Miya twins. Or maybe it was when he befriended them, which led to him considering Osamu to be his best friend. No, it was certainly when he, despite how much he tried to deny it, developed a crush on the aforementioned best friend; that’s where it all started. 

Falling for Osamu was a blur. A blur of discreet smiles, late night convenience store trips, and dedicated discussions on whether Atsumu had a crush on Aran or Kita (they concluded that it was most likely both). As they got closer, the hazier the line of friendship and flirting became to Suna. It became a normal occurrence for Osamu to fall asleep on Suna’s shoulder, or vice versa, during breaks during the school day or on bus rides home from volleyball matches. And, before he knew it, Suna had a newfound urge to kiss him whenever their faces got a little too close and run his hand through Osamu’s hair while he rested his head in Suna’s lap.

Suna regretted this tragic line of occurrences but he had to admit that agreeing to live with Osamu during their university years, despite being infatuated with the younger twin, was entirely his fault.

It’s Saturday morning and these thoughts refuse to be pushed from Suna’s mind, keeping him from falling back asleep despite how much he wanted to. He huffed in frustration and turned to his side to retrieve his phone from the table at his bedside.

The apartment was silent, partially because it was nine in the morning but also because Osamu was not there. He was spending the weekend with his family because it was one of his cousins’ birthdays. He had proposed that Suna come too but Suna had rejected the invitation, claiming that he had a lot of work to catch up on, which wasn’t exactly untrue but Suna had no intention of actually doing it.

Suna looked at his phone, not expecting a lot, he wasn't really one for posting on social media, he just had it to look at what other people were up to. One of the only notifications he received was a text from Atsumu, sent only a half hour ago.

the other twin: a few minutes into breakfast and samu already can't stop talkin about ya

Suna sighed. Atsumu is a lot smarter than some people think; he caught on surprisingly quickly to Suna’s crush on Osamu, which aggravated him greatly. Him and Osamu were supposed to be the ones invested in Atsumu’s love life so it was a lot less fun when it happened the other way around. He quickly typed out a response.

you: shut up

the other twin: just tell him ya like him and i will :)

Suna closed the message, going into the settings app just to turn on read receipts so he could leave Atsumu on read. He closed his phone only for it to buzz again with another text.

the other twin: quit leavin me on read

the other twin: ur so oblivious sunarin, ya know that

Suna left him on read again before getting out of bed to get himself some breakfast.

Osamu usually made breakfast for the two of them so, since he wasn't there, Suna opted to go to a local cafe to get a small muffin and a coffee. It was nothing compared to Osamu’s cooking but it would have to do. Suna was starting to regret turning down Osamu’s invitation to spend the weekend with his family but the feeling went away when he thought about the teasing he would have had to endure from Atsumu.

Instead of dwelling on that, he tried to think of a better way to spend his day besides moping over his unrequited crush on his best friend. 

He subconsciously reached his hand up to touch the small hoop in his left ear. He had always wanted to get piercings since he started high school so once he became old enough he decided to start small and get his lobe done first. He told Osamu about this and, to Suna’s surprise, Osamu insisted not only going with him to get it, but also on getting an identical piercing, in the same ear and all.

Suna’s face warmed at the recollection of the event. He remembered the warm brush of Osamu’s hand as he held on tightly to Suna’s when Osamu was getting pierced. And, in true Miya fashion, Osamu complained for hours afterwards how much it had hurt and how he was never doing that again. Suna disagreed, he has always had a fairly high pain tolerance and so the piercing had felt like no more than a pinch to him, in fact, after that experience he craved to get more done. 

So he went back, each time with Osamu there who insisted on holding his hand each time even though Suna told him he didn't need to. 

“Stop tryin’ to be tough and just hold my hand,” Osamu had said. “I know that it hurts, ya can't lie to me, Rin.” 

But the pain never was unbearable. A few months after the first time, he got his right lobe and right helix done, neither of which were that bad but the helix did hurt a little bit more than the lobe did. The most recent time he had gone, about five months ago now, he had gotten an industrial which he felt more than the other three; it was enough to make him flinch and grab Osamu’s hand a little tighter. The result was worth it though because he loved the sight of the new piece of metal through his ear when he looked in the mirror; he felt like he was making his high school self proud. 

Osamu seemed to like the piercing as well. He kept making comments on how cool it looked, which had made Suna’s face flush.

“Oh come on, ya don't have to be embarrassed,” Osamu had laughed. “You're gonna look less badass if ya blush like that every time someone compliments them.”

Osamu didn't have to worry about that, Suna only blushed when the compliments came from Osamu. He hated the way Osamu made him blush, it made him feel like a high school girl who stayed up late at night making playlists and baking cookies for her crush (Suna had only done one of those things but he would never let those playlists be seen by Osamu). Suna had grown tired of the giddy feeling in his stomach as he pined over his best friend. It was fun at first, the thrill of being in love, the skip of his heart whenever the pair brushed hands but the longer time went on without a confession from either party, the more Suna’s excitement was replaced with a hopeless feeling that Osamu did not feel the same way as he did. 

As Suna sat in the cafe, picking at his muffin, these memories drifted through his mind. And so, he decided that he was long overdue for a visit to the local tattoo and piercing shop.

* * * * *

The piercing went quick. Suna wasn't sure if it was because of the new placement of the piercings — both right beneath his mouth — or the fact that Osamu was not there (he suspected it was the latter), but the process hurt slightly more than usual. Without the distraction of Osamu’s warm hands entwined with his, Suna had been forced to recognize the feeling of the piercer puncturing the smooth skin under his lip, something he had never put much thought into before.

Pain aside, Suna loved his new piercings. In the shop's mirror, he admired them: two silver balls, each on either side of the area below his lips. He had wanted snake bites for a while, and they looked better than he imagined they would. 

He paid for the piercing and jewelry and tipped the piercer before leaving the shop and heading home. 

The rest of the weekend was uneventful to say the least. Suna ordered takeout for all his meals and as he sat eating in silence, he missed Osamu’s cooking (he usually served as a test subject for Osamu’s new recipes). Many times over the weekend, he huffed in frustration at how overdramatic he was being; it was only one weekend spent without his best friend. But Suna tried to rationalize with himself, him and Osamu had spent nearly every weekend with each other for a long time, they were roommates after all, so it wasn't that strange that he missed the older boy. Yet still, he couldn't help but roll his eyes at his own antics. 

But Suna wasn't one to mope about his crush all day (okay maybe he was), so he begrudgingly spent all of Sunday cleaning around the house: taking his and Osamu’s laundry downstairs to the apartment complex’s shared laundry room to be cleaned, dusting their shelves of useless knick knacks they often bought for each other at thrift stores, even going as far as cleaning out his closet and getting rid of the clothes he didn't want.

At the end of the week Suna was proud of himself for all he had done, considering he usually wasn't one to do chores around the house (Osamu normally did most of the work, sometimes Suna feels bad about that but his laziness usually overrules his guilt). But Suna found that by keeping himself busy, he had successfully taken his mind off of his best friend. Well, that was until-

“Rin?” 

Suna ripped his eyes away from the television in front of him, his head darting towards the newfound noise at the door. As expected, Osamu stood there, kicking off his shoes, not bothering to place them neatly but Suna didn't mind. 

“Yer still awake?” Osamu spoke again. Even though it wasn't that late in Suna’s opinion, just a half hour after midnight.

Suna raised an eyebrow, “Are you surprised?”

“Not really,” Osamu admitted, removing his jacket and placing it on a hook near the door before walking towards Suna. “I know you’d miss me too much to be able to sleep,” he jeered lightly.

Suna inclined his head away from the other boy, hoping that his embarrassment wasn't showing on his face. He tried to find words to say, a joke to make in response to the older boy but before he could speak, Osamu lied down on the couch next to where Suna was sitting, placing his head insistently in the younger boy’s lap.

The behavior was comfortably domestic to Suna, the two of them were used to touching each other like this and, if he didn't think about it too much, Suna could almost imagine that the affection was real. That Osamu was in love with him as much as he was with him; that they were happily in love together.

“It’s okay though because I missed you, too,” Osamu mumbled.

Suna let out a small hum in approval, letting his hand rest on Osamu’s back to feel the cool fabric of his t-shirt.

After a moment of silence, Osamu shifted in his lap, turning onto his back so he was looking up at Suna with a soft expression on his face, “Hey, Rin,” there was a hint of hesitation in his voice, “Can I tell you somethi-”

When suddenly his eyes widened and he shot upwards into a sitting position, nearly headbutting Suna in the process. 

“Are those new piercings?” he asked, putting a hand on Suna’s chin, tilting it upwards to get a better look.

Suna averted his eyes, flustered at the sudden proximity of Osamu’s face, “I- uh, yeah, I just got them yesterday,” he said, although this proved to be quite difficult to do without stuttering.

A childish pout formed on Osamu’s face and Suna could see his next words coming from a mile away.

“Ya went without me?” Even though he wasn't as bad as Atsumu, Osamu had his moments of childlike behavior that mostly came to surface when Suna was alone with him. “I thought ya like me bein’ there when ya get them done.” 

“I do,” Suna insisted, “I was just bored this weekend with you gone and all.” 

“Oh, so ya did miss me,” Osamu chuckled. “Well, ya do look pretty badass with them so I guess it doesn't matter.”

He looked up from the piercings into Suna’s eyes in brief eye contact before moving his gaze down once again, but to Suna it didn't look like he was looking at the piercings; he was staring straight at Suna’s lips. 

Suna was overwhelmed with the urge to kiss the older boy in that moment. It would be so easy to lean forward and press their lips together, if only for a short amount of time. For a moment Suna was actually considering it, he felt awfully brave tonight, whether that was because he was tired or because of Osamu's close proximity he was unsure. But then he remembered his new piercings, the piercer had advised against kissing and oral sex (not that that was likely to happen at the moment) before they had healed completely, which would take about six weeks. 

“What were you gonna say before,” Suna spoke, though his mouth felt like it was full of cotton. “You were gonna tell me something but then you cut off because you saw the piercings.”

Osamu startled slightly, looking away from Suna’s mouth and toward the door, purposely avoiding eye contact.

“It was nothing, just something stupid,” Osamu said, pulling himself away from Suna and standing up from the couch. “I’m gonna go to bed, you should, too, it’s gettin’ late.”

Suna watched him retreat to his room, closing the door softly and leaving the young boy in the living room alone. “What was that about?” he mumbled to himself before standing up and going to bed himself.

* * * * *

Although the events of that night were strange to Suna, the state of his relationship with Osamu didn't seem to change. The older boy still cooked for the both of them almost nightly and they still watched movies together, which usually ended with Osamu leaning against Suna’s shoulder and falling asleep there. 

And so the next few weeks went by smoothly, Suna piercings slowly began to heal and he made sure to keep up with cleaning them so they wouldn't get infected. At the 6 weeks mark, when he was sure they were completely healed, the small silver balls were switched out in exchange for twin golden rings. Suna had always preferred golden jewelry to silver, he thought that it complimented the color of his eyes and he liked the way it seemed to glow in the sun. He moved his tongue across the jewelry, loving the feeling of the new metal in his mouth.

“Rin, what’re ya thinking about? Ya look spaced out,” Osamu said as he returned to their table with a tray of food they ordered.

“Just about the jewelry,” Suna replied, picking up a fry off the tray and putting it in his mouth. “I really like it.” He cringed at the simplicity of his wording.

If Osamu noticed, he didn't say anything. “The gold suits ya,” he said, not wasting a moment to dig into his food. 

The rest of the meal was spent in silence, Osamu didn't mess around when it came to food and Suna wasn't one to interfere with that.

“Oi, Rin,” Osamu spoke once he was finished, wiping at his mouth and hands with a napkin. “You up for a movie tonight?”

And so, that night they ended up on the couch together watching some shitty romantic comedy that Osamu had chosen. Osamu had admitted a long time ago that these types of movies were a guilty pleasure of his, immediately after telling Suna he made him swear that he wouldn't tell Atsumu. Suna had agreed of course but he had a hunch, although there was really no evidence besides his personality, that Atsumu liked them, too. Suna wasn't really paying attention to the movie but didn't need to, he knew it was some kind of cliche love story just by the fact that Osamu had chosen it. 

The two were sitting side by side on the couch, their shoulders and legs pressing together under the single blanket that was lying over them. The position wasn't uncommon for them and yet Suna still could feel the warmth on his face from being this close to Osamu. He glanced over at the twin without moving his head, the light from the television shone on his face, illuminating the soft curve of his nose and cheekbones. He looked beautiful like that, eyes fixated on the screen, involved in the storyline, as cliche as it was.

As he was absorbed in thought, Suna felt the ghost of a feeling at his hand; it was Osamu’s nimble fingers reaching for his own. The older boy slipped his hand against Suna’s, pressing their palms together and entwining their fingers. Suna’s breath caught in his throat at the action.

What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. He thought to himself. 

“Rin,” Osamu’s voice startled him out of his panic. “Is this okay?”

“Mm? Um, yeah.” Suna stuttered and cursed himself yet again.

Osamu hummed. “Good because ya know what? Tsumu’s been bein’ a real asshole recently, tellin’ me that I need to tell ya how I feel and all.” He turned his away from the television to look at Suna, who was trying not to combust. “Are ya okay? Yer awfully quiet.”

“What do you mean? Feelings?” Suna asked, not willing to make the next move until he was completely sure of what Osamu was trying to say.

Osamu closed his eyes for a moment and huffed, “Yer really gonna make me say it?” he shook his head and opened his eyes, making eye contact with Suna. “I like you, Rin.”

Before Suna could react, Osamu was leaning forward, capturing Suna’s lips with his own. Immediately, Suna sighed into Osamu’s mouth and removed his hand from the other boy’s, bringing them both up to entangle them into Osamu’s hair and tugging in an attempt to pull their faces impossibly closer. As their mouths slid across each other, he became hyper aware of the feeling of his new piercings between them.

Osamu pulled back, just enough to murmur, “Those damn piercings are gonna be the death of me,” before pushing their lips together again. Suna let out a hum in agreement as he felt Osamu’s tongue swipe along them.

One of Osamu’s hands moved up to cup the side of Suna’s face and he tilted his own head to the side, deepening the kiss. Before Suna knew it, Osamu was wrapping his other arm around his waist and pulling the both of them backwards so he was practically laying on top of the older boy, whose back was propped up against the couch’s armrest.

A sound that was half moan, half gasp came out of Suna’s mouth, muffled by Osamu’s own. Immediate embarrassment shot through his body as he realized how desperate he had sounded.

The kiss ended too soon for Suna. Osamu pulled away and Suna’s head instinctually tried to chase the warmth of his mouth again.

The twin laughed softly in a non mocking tone, “Guess that means ya like me, too.”

“Yeah it’d be a little embarrassing if I turned you down now,” replied Suna. “And a little stupid, too, considering I’ve liked you since high school.” He regretted saying the words right after they came from his mouth; he hid his face in the fabric of Osamu’s shirt in embarrassment.

Osamu huffed out a laugh. “Yer too cute, but if it makes ya feel better, I’ve liked you since high school, too.”

“Are you serious?” Suna groaned, lifting up his head again to look at Osamu. “Did you also get found out by Atsumu and then harassed about it for years?”

Osamu raised an eyebrow, “He did that to you, too? Oh I’m totally gonna kick his ass next time I see him.”

“I won't do anything to stop you,” laughed Suna. 

A couple beats of comfortable silence passed between the two boys before Osamu spoke again, “Do ya wanna sleep in my bed tonight?” Suna raised an eyebrow and gave the older boy a sly grin. “Just to sleep, dummy, get yer dirty thoughts outta here. You know I’m in an awfully good position to push ya on the floor right now?”

“Yeah, I don't think you’d do it, though,” Suna purred. “But, sure, let’s go to your bed.”

And so, Osamu turned off the long forgotten movie before the two of them headed to his room. As they got situated (after a small amount of bickering about who would be the big spoon), Suna found himself with his face in Osamu’s chest and the older boy’s arms around him. Suna smiled to himself as he drifted off to sleep, without a single concern in his mind for the first time in years.

**Author's Note:**

> hello, hope you enjoyed this fic !! it's my first post on here so comments and kudos are appreciated :))


End file.
